Coretta Jean's blog

Thank You For Your Advice... Now *Bleep* Off

This is a 3 part lesson... So keep your boot straps buckled.

As a single 20 something female there comes a frustration point in our lives when we're faced with judgements from our peers when they begin to question our life decisions.

I think for the most part I've done a pretty spectacular job at most of the big decisions I've faced in my life. And shit... if nothing else I get a GOLD STAR for effort.
I'm independant to a fault - And hard headed as ever - But more than that, I'm a very logical thinker - I am not a rash decision maker. That's why I don't solicite the advice of other people.

Real Estate: Currently I'm shopping for my first home - And I have been reluctant to tell too many people about this decision. I personally set this goal for mysef about 8 months ago and think if at 27 I manage to buy my first home without any support from my parents, boyfriend/ husband, or financial assistance - then that pretty much makes me the bomb.
Anyone who's shopped for a home knows its a trying unrelentless process of ups and downs - It's not an experience for the weak at heart. And though I have an appreciation for unsolicited real estate advice from people that don't know shit about it... I only value mine and my real estate agent's opinion. It doesn't take a talent to write a check for earnest monies and pick out a house in some boring sub community in the burbs... However, it does take one to priortize, save, and establish financial stability to be able to do that in the first place. Don't get me wrong... I love love love that friends are trying to look out for me, but... I think there is a difference between helpful advice and nay saying.

Job Searching: I don't know about you... But in this economy I tend to feel kind of depressed when I am searching for a new job. Mostly because I know there are sooooo many applicants, and even though you may meet the job description, your resume and cover letter had better jump out at the future employer for them to choose you over 200 other resumes. After a few weeks of hitting the job market with little to no end in sight, you may feel discouraged and gripe at your friends about your situation. I've learned that patience, this time,  is a virtue. If you've already done the due dillagence of perfecting your resume, honing in on the job market, selecting a recruiter/ job seeker service, and applying relentlesslessly... Then don't sweat the small stuff. I'm in the same game right now, and the last thing I enjoy hearing is that I'm not trying hard enough.

Romance: A big source of annoyance on a personal level is that friend that we all have that's in a relationship or married that gives you that uncontious patronising pat on the back and tells you "you're not alone out there" and "love will find you" and "be patient- your time will come." Um yea... because you know so well whats thats like - Haha. Sometimes couples misinterpret our complaining about the opposite sex as, being bitter or impatient waiting for the final outcome (or what we hope will be). Just like when they complain to us about their spouse or significant other it doesn't mean you hate them... Every now and then everyone should let their frustrations out so they don't explode. Well... As much as we don't like to hear that patronizing advice... It's true. Everyone's life is different and some people fall in love and get married at 21, and others at 36, and some not at all.
In my very practical way of thinking I've contimplated the chance that all 3 of those situations could be mine - 
I am a creature of habit - So when a relationship ends for me I get in the habit of laying on the couch playing Love Is A Loosing Game by Amy Winehouse (RIP) on repeat and eating grilled cheese sandwiches out of the couch cushion. And my last break up was no different than this...

Sad but true... Sometimes all it takes is a gentle nudge from a friend to remind you that despite how you feel... the world will go on. Instead of sulking around the house for weeks, I decided to remind myself why I love this city. It wasn't hard. What was hard was listening to BAD advise about hooking up with someone else and multiple people trying to hook me up with their friend  - People mean well... they do... But sometimes only you know whats best for you.
Sometimes its just taking that baby step towards the door before you give yourself that gentle nudge that life ain't so bad. My point being... Thank you friends who are in relationships/ married, but your advice may not be needed here (at least if sleeping around is the answer you've come up with).

I already know what I need...

Cupid... I Heart You <3

I don't know what everyone's big stink with Valentines Day is... I happen to LOVE Valentines Day!

I like seeing people around me happy, and I like that men tend to act more chivalrous on this special day. People stimulate the economy by going out to eat, buying flowers and Godiva chocolates, and even the occasional Kay Jeweler's fug-ly necklace, lol.

I believe that if there is a day when you can tell someone you love and appreciate them, then you should. And that especially counts for friends.

Whether it's February 14h, April 27th, or September 6th - If it happens to be on Valentines Day then so be it.

Today is not a valid excuse for feeling sorry for yourself because you're not dating anyone. Who cares?
If today is measured by how many Valentines you give or receive, then by that standard I have 70 amazing relationships to brag about.

I don't mean to toot my own horn, but TOOT TOOT!

It's about the small things in life - And don't be too dense as to not recognize them.
Make sure that when you go out into the world Monday, that you tell at least 5 people that you love and appreciate them.

No grouchy people on Valentines Day... It's against the rules!!!

A Little Fatherly Advise

“The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people halfway.” - Henry Boye

 

The other day on my way to the gym my father called me to tell me something I hear all the time, but then he added in a little extra unexpected man advise which I found to be funny… Because my dad has never given me advise on men, nor have I asked for it. Out of nowhere he said “I’m so very proud of you Coretta for all your accomplishments. I can’t believe that my daughter is a college graduate and soon to be homeowner who is a very smart and independent woman – and that is so marketable in life and with men.” And then he said, “Make sure that when you do find a man who is worthy of your time… Make sure he works with his hands and can fix a thing or two around the house – Make sure he is as strong and wise as you are.”

Truthfully what he said actually brought a tear to my eye, which I know this might be low-grade nacho cheese material, but nonetheless – It was one of the nicest things he has ever said to me. It made me realize that I am definitely my father’s daughter. I think my dad is a little concerned that maybe I’m playing my hand a little too close to my chest, and he knows that is very unlike me. And in general I ’ve been very judicious of the people I allow to be around my friends and family --- especially men. To date I have yet to bring one of them home to meet the Papa… But I think he just sees that and wonders why.

To put it in perspective… Last April I was telling him how I was coming home with Matt in May or July. And then when May came I booked my ticket and flew solo and appeared very aloof, downtrodden and perhaps subjugated. We took a long drive through the country and went down through this Valley to the Snake River Lower Monumental Dam (one of the most beautiful places on this earth), at which point he suggested I buy a gun for protection, ha ha.

The true irony of this whole song and dance by my dad is that I recently finished my Valentines Day cards. In each card I wrote a special message for each person and what I thought was appropriate given his or her situation… One message in particular that struck me was something I wrote to a select few:

“Not unlike years before I inevitably wish you love and happiness. But perhaps instead I wish you wisdom. I hope that you are bold enough to listen to your head when it’s telling you to run – And brave enough to listen to your heartwhen it’s telling you to leap. Love Often.”

The poignant reality about this is that at this time I cannot follow my own advise. Part of the excitement of getting to know someone else is being able to take the risk that you may fall flat on your face. And unfortunately at this time, I’d rather be alone than put myself out there again.

Just to give you an idea of how deep the sword has pierced.

As many of you know I have refrained from dating for nearly 9 months – Purposefully.

I was unaware of this new discovery until Saturday evening when I attempted to do the brave thing, but instead found myself feeling gauche. Don’t get me wrong… I had a really really really good time. But in the end if someone is standing in your doorway as the quintessential man and all you can imagine is running, than something has gone terribly wrong.

Regrettably at this time, I can’t say it matters if someone is smart, funny, chivalrous and dangerously handsome – I will still try my hardest to run – or do things that make it impossible for them not to. It’s intentional and harmful and yet it will probably live on Coretta’s doorstep for a little while longer.

I guess I’m still figuring it out.

((To read my new and old blogs please join me at http://corettajean.typepad.com/blog))

Don't You Ever Forget About Me!!!

Download 01 I Need a Dollar

 

Hi.

Hmmm. What else is there to say after such a long space in time.
I'm so sorry I've been absent. But... 2010 was a bit frustrating and I needed time to regroup.

Thankfully, I am more badass then ever.
Coming back strong is really my thing you know. I can't help it...

Anywho... There has been a lot of changes, and so many of them have been good. I'm happy to report that yes, I did graduate in May. ha ha. It's crazy to think that it's been nearly 8 months since I've shared any good news with anyone over my blog. I feel bad you know... But damn, May really really really really sucked balls. No lie. 3 seasons have come and gone since I spoke a word here.

I suppose I should just come out and say what everyone has continued to ask me for over 8 months now... The whole Anti-Christ ex-boyfriend situation - Well, I do not communicate with him so for all I know he's dropped off the face of the planet, and quite frankly, that would be a good thing. There was a lot of things that I didn't share with everyone because of how sensitive it was for me at the time, but I can really come out and share the truth now.
1. Yes, he had sex with hookers off of Craigslist.
2. No, I don't have the HIV.
3. I'm over it.

I think for months and months I couldn't come to bring myself to write in this blog because unfortunately everyone's curiosity was somewhat ruining the fact that I had managed to move on from the whole negative situation. I didn't want to spend months dedicated my blog to some jerk that mistakingly treated me badly. Not to mention, I was having a whole lot of fun. I think unintentionally people were curious about how more fucked up the story could get and forget that yes, I lived it. ha ha. As funny as it was, it was horrible to live through. I mean its kind of a nightmare to find out your boyfriend has been lying to you the whole relationship, sleeping with hookers, exposing you to diseases, previously married and LIED about it, is a full blown sociopath, etc, etc, etc. It kinda fucks up your mojo for a while you know, lol. But after a couple months had gone by I wasn't depressed anymore, and I didn't feel angry all the time, and I was finally ready to start dating again.

Did I date again? Not really, ha ha. It was the first time in my entire life that I could have cared less if I ever was with a man again. And believe me, I never thought that day would come. I focused on my career and saving money and improving my credit score... And as lame as that sounds, it was great for me. I like to put my best foot forward and show everyone how incredible I can be, and how strong and resilient I can be. And that's exactly what I did. I showed everyone how badass I was fo sho!

I became a permanant full time salaried employee at my job that came with a promotion... My credit score went up by 100 points in the last 2 months... I started saving money for the first time in my life... And the most amazing thing ever - I started working out again and I've lost 15lbs since November.

I just wanted to clear the air before I started running my mouth again on the blog life. That way there were no unanswered questions. And I can start talking shit again over the internet and no one think anything strange happened in my absense. Lol. I missed you my loves.

Brunch Is For Lovers <3

"There is no sincerer love, than the love of food."
                                        -George Bernard Shaw

Why Hello Lovers!!! Good morning and Happy Valentines Day to you!
When I was a wee girl (last year) I always loved Valentines Day! I remember in school we would bake special treats and give out cards of love and happiness to one another in solidarity of this joyous day.
I had seemed to forget all the wonderfulness that comes with this when I turned 19 and became single. He He
Never lose hope though - Never Give Up - And Love will find you <3

Valentines Day Cards

So, this year I yearned for a taste of the old days, and decided I'd found love none other than in my friends. I wanted to show others how much champagne I can drink, and how much fun we can really have.
Those days of writing "Love Sucks" in blood in the snow are over :)
So In true classy, sophisticated style, and with a touch of maturity, I have decided we will be getting drunk at brunch!

Um yes... I will have a jug of champagne and orange juice, a plate of the goat cheese lamb sliders, with a side of affection from my sweethearts... Melany, Erika, Jacy, Brooke, Kim, Carrie, Amy, Lindsey, Elissa, Kelly, and who ever happens to show up!

Yes, we're in for a meal of non-vegan food, and after last night waiting for a table at Watercourse Foods for an HOUR AND A HALF.... I've come to realize that food is just not as tasty with out the animal protein, hydrogenated sugars, and saturated fats in it <3

Cheers!!!

P.S. Pictures to Follow <3

 

 

It's All Relative...

"It's taken so long. I could be wrong, I could be ready. But if I take my hearts advice, I should assume it's still unsteady."       - JM

Sometimes I feel true solace in my religion.

God doesn't get drunk and text message me at 3 am.

He doesn't not call me back, or give me a "C" on my paper I worked on for 3 weeks.

Doesn't eat my food out of the refrigerator.

He wouldn't borrow my car and not fill up the gas tank.

He wouldn't tell me the warranty on my phone is null and void and make me buy a new one at full price.

Wouldn't lie to me.

Wouldn't throw a snow ball at me and knock out my tooth.

He wouldn't borrow $1500 and not pay me back.

He would never pour a drink down the back of my dress and call me a bitch when I walked away...

It's a wonder why I don't spend more time with him.

Ha ha... It's exhausting.

Life is exhausting, but worth it. 

My life serves such a greater purpose when I am happy though. 

And so... Whenever the fun stops.

Whenever I give pause for thought  and realize something is making me feel insecure...

Or threatened ... Or sad. 

If there's frustration... Or depression... Or Tears (which there should NEVER be).

Then something needs to be remedied. And it cannot wait any longer.

Senoritis

I was so dedicated- And all things are and were possible.

I conquered College.

But now I've come to an end in my undergraduate education and I want to sleep all day and watch the Maury show.

Having to be tight fisted has a tendency to piss me off.

I want to travel and visit my friends and sky drive and eat $12- Lunches everyday!

But I can't...

I'm on a budget because of graduation. Because I can't relax and be a poor hostess.

I can't.

It's against Coretta's code of conduct to be cheap and make everyone else pick up the bill.
That's in bad taste.

I'd never be caught dead serving house guests a bowl of cereal for breakfast or offering a glass of wine out of a plastic cup! ICK!!!!!

I've been procrastinating feverishly. What's funny is that in my Intermediate Non-Linear Video Editing Class I had a project due last week. We had two weeks to complete it. I started and finished it the night before it was due.
My professor gave me an A+  ... He said it was flawless, ha ha.
At this point I don't know if I'm getting better or if this class is getting easier?!?

And everyone knows how ANAL I am about my Christmas cards- Just imagine what kind of drama I've conjured up as far as my graduation invites go.
Never the less- I thoroughly enjoy planning things- So even though I've lost hours of sleep over waiting on caterer estimates or people renigging on me- It can't compare to the extreme elation I've achieved once I found the perfect trifold stationary paper <3 Ha ha. The most amazing thing in my life right now is the paper that took me 4 hours to pick out, ha ha. ((I'm not being sarcastic)), lol. 

I've said it before and I'll say it again.
I enjoy the simple things in life, but I can be extreme complicated.

New York City: Big Girl In The City!!!

CIMG3151

As many of you know I ventured to New York City this labor day weekend with two special friends. It was my first time in the city and it was all it was cracked up to be and more.

I value the fact that fortunately I've never lost my child like innocence to see the world inside a picture frame. So naturally just seeing the city lights from miles way makes my heart smile.

When we pulled off the freeway into Brooklyn we happened to pull up to a gentlemen's club - And as you can expect I was exited - But we moved onto our final destination which was Brooklyn!!! We were fortunate enough not to have to pay for a hotel room- Pashmina had friends in Brooklyn, so we stayed with them for free... My favorite. 

From start to finish I was tired. But it's hard to take a nap in the city that doesn't sleep. 

I have to say, New York was much different than larger cities I've been to around the world. Those general preconceived notions did not apply here. People were not rude. Not anymore than they are on the street in Denver. 

Poverty was not as wide spread. Or maybe just a little more well hidden - Any man's suffering should not be ignored, but... I just did not see it as much.

CIMG3236

Major Highlights Include:

*** Drinking wine with Vanessa at the Standard Hotel Beer Garden.

*** Stealing a green apple from the display inside the restaurant because were starving... Stealing a beer from the bar at the restaurant, because it was left unattended... Crimes of opportunity :)

*** Bleeding all over the club because some guy dropped a glass on my foot.

*** Standing behind poles in the subway, because I feared the train jumping the track and killing us.

*** Realizing my dress was caught on the side of my purse and I was showing half of Manhattan my ass.

*** Getting Interviewed by the Today Show.

*** Starring at the firefighters <3

*** Taking the ferry to Staten Island and Back.

*** Central Park.

*** Having some random dude try to touch my boobs in the subway and blocking him from any action.

*** Collecting random trinkets from the bar for someone back in Denver.

*** Watching Pashmina's friend get arrested for peeing on a wall at 4am.

*** Running Into a friend from grade school in the DC airport and ending up on the same flight.

It turned out to be an incredible adventure and I needed a full day to recover from it. I hope to return to the East Coast soon, so I can see Boston & Cape Cod with Izzy.

Miss you NYC - Be back soon, I promise <3

Now Accepting Applications For Husbands

"The glamour of childish days is upon me, my manhood is cast. Down in the flood of remembrance, I weep like a child for the past."                                          - D.H. Lawrence

Summer is almost officially over. It's strange... I feel like it all passed me by in a matter of minutes. 

And I've been shockingly silent on the forefront of this blog in question... I think mostly I've had a few serious matters on my mind to date, and it's been hard to find the time, nor the place appropriate to address them.

This summer has also set place to a number of questions about my future. If there is one lesson I can take away from my school days is... Do an Internship!!! ha ha. If any of you have kept track of how I've recently felt about the television business, you'd know that my future is somewhat grey and fuzzy.... Because turns out... I'm not sure I want to work in television ever, let alone for the rest of my life. It's been startling. 

A friend of mine gave me some good advice... He said, find what you're good at and what you enjoy, and don't worry about the money. Well... easy enough said, not so much done. Living like a student for the past 7 years has been good and everything... but my eyes water at the thought of not making any real money after college is over in a mere 3 months (Anything is an improvement from $11K a year, ha ha ha). 

Camping Is The Best

I find myself day dreaming a lot about things that I always saw myself doing after college and things within my immediate reach... Refinishing old furniture... Gutting a kitchen and revamping it all by myself... Growing a garden... Cooking A LOT... Travelling to the ends of the earth with a massively large dufflebag... Hiking through the Himalayas... Having a boyfriend and or husband (which came first the chicken or the egg?!? lol)...  Making More Lovely Videos of Life Unfolding... Having babies (and having a massively huge pregnant belly)... Swinging in a hammock in my back yard... Getting a Puppy :)

I know it's kinda low grade nacho cheese material, but... I think this whole summer of realization has helped me focus on the things that are really important to me in life. My friends... My family... And someday having my own family. At this point, I'd be perfectly content with becoming somebody's trophy wife and staying home with the little ones, ha ha.

And that's a hard thing for someone like me to say. I think the vision in my mind has always been to go to college and graduate and become some highly successful powerful woman in the business world. Eh.... Things have a way of changing. I think I'm ready for those quiet evenings in with a movie, and trips to Ikea and Home Depot (I relish a Friday I get to stay in and do something mundane!). 

Lime Time

Sometimes I feel like I'm already half way there... I already practically don't drink (unless 1 or 2 people show up and offer me wine, lol)... I'm a full fledged woman now- All responsible, and careful, and calculating... When did that happen??? ha ha. I'm officially in my mid-twenties...

Shit, I even own my own Mac Now!!! Yep... Coretta got a big girl computer.

And... I'm headed off to NYC for the first time on Thursday!!! 

Ahhhhh... Big girl in the city!

I'll let you know how everything unfolds. Bye Loves <3

I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings {LIFE}

"We're all a little stronger in the places we've been broken."

Looking back at the last 5 years of my life makes me long for the younger days a little bit. When did things get so serious? When did I become a caged bird trapped behind bars?!? Seriously.
I've been kind of feeling as of late, like things are a little too planned out... A little forced.... And in desperate need for some fresh air and a nap (ie ME). But I have to look for the positives in all things known to life.

It's strange how a negative situation can behead you into believing in the positive things in life, despite the fact that you cannot see any of them. About a month ago I was a little miserable. I drove head first into my internship because as many of you know... times were tough. And since then the situation has vastly changed a lot, especially my attitude.
 
Every morning when I get up I take a spoon fool of gratitude to accompany my bowl full of crow... And by that I mean grief, ha ha. My internship was kicking me in the ass, and I was not having fun in the least bit. But once the hazing stopped I think I realized it was really for the better that it happened in the first place. Sometimes I need to be pushed into that place of total uncomfortableness to be able to change into something better... I have found that I can be stubborn. Ha ha.

I decided instead of dreading going into the newsroom, I was going to go in with the most positive attitude I could manage... whether that was me faking it until I made it.

And it somehow has worked!!!! VOILA!!!!

Now I take it for what it's worth... Face value... It's an internship Coretta... Not a kegger. ha ha ((Not that I ever thought it was... There is no beer at the station that I know of, ha ha)). And people have stopped being so mean... And in return I've stopped being so sheepish. Yay for Coretta growing some balls! And in this experience I have possibly found that... maybe I don't want to work in news. Which is scary, because my plan has been mapped out for sometime... I was going to try to get a job in Denver, and or move to LA.... Not so much anymore. It's exciting and completely terrifying at the same time.

Although... It's like Baz Luhrmann said "Don't feel guilty if you don't know what to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't know." What I do know is that more and more I just want to be around the people I love. They have the power to make me feel whole again when I feel incomplete and inadequate. So I'm going to find that thing that I love... And hopefully I'll find that one that can love me in return... AHHHHHH, ha ha.

Last month I also had the pleasure of meeting up with a good friend we all know named Reality... She came packing with lots of "gifts", which included two new male roommates (good and bad), bills, lack of sleep, tons of work, not enough wine, and a departure from Romance known as <3 Justin. Such is life. Ah, it's not all bad though. I think I got back some of the things I was hoping for, and gained a little wisdom as well.  

This summer is not ruined... Just not as care free as they normally are. I still feel like there is much to be done in other aspects of my life... Much fun to be had... And much mischief to get into. Flip Cup is coming soon, which doubles as my birthday party.

YES!!!

A girl has goals you know... No matter how big or small. And my new goal for the summer is to kick ass and be softer with my words. I need to get back the my natural sweet nature... It's been missing for some time. It's been replaced with F-Bomb's and the "CorettaCardddd" ... And we all enjoy that, but distance makes the heart grow fonder. ha ha.

Besides I've really become close with the idea of the power of positive thinking... For example, today I went to Taco Bell and although they sounded very very confused when I gave them my order, and then asked for it again when I got to the window, I remained positive and calm. Turns out there system went down and I got my lunch for free... What a great day :)