This is a 3 part lesson... So keep your boot straps buckled.
As a single 20 something female there comes a frustration point in our lives when we're faced with judgements from our peers when they begin to question our life decisions.
I think for the most part I've done a pretty spectacular job at most of the big decisions I've faced in my life. And shit... if nothing else I get a GOLD STAR for effort.
I'm independant to a fault - And hard headed as ever - But more than that, I'm a very logical thinker - I am not a rash decision maker. That's why I don't solicite the advice of other people.
Real Estate: Currently I'm shopping for my first home - And I have been reluctant to tell too many people about this decision. I personally set this goal for mysef about 8 months ago and think if at 27 I manage to buy my first home without any support from my parents, boyfriend/ husband, or financial assistance - then that pretty much makes me the bomb.
Anyone who's shopped for a home knows its a trying unrelentless process of ups and downs - It's not an experience for the weak at heart. And though I have an appreciation for unsolicited real estate advice from people that don't know shit about it... I only value mine and my real estate agent's opinion. It doesn't take a talent to write a check for earnest monies and pick out a house in some boring sub community in the burbs... However, it does take one to priortize, save, and establish financial stability to be able to do that in the first place. Don't get me wrong... I love love love that friends are trying to look out for me, but... I think there is a difference between helpful advice and nay saying.
Job Searching: I don't know about you... But in this economy I tend to feel kind of depressed when I am searching for a new job. Mostly because I know there are sooooo many applicants, and even though you may meet the job description, your resume and cover letter had better jump out at the future employer for them to choose you over 200 other resumes. After a few weeks of hitting the job market with little to no end in sight, you may feel discouraged and gripe at your friends about your situation. I've learned that patience, this time, is a virtue. If you've already done the due dillagence of perfecting your resume, honing in on the job market, selecting a recruiter/ job seeker service, and applying relentlesslessly... Then don't sweat the small stuff. I'm in the same game right now, and the last thing I enjoy hearing is that I'm not trying hard enough.
Romance: A big source of annoyance on a personal level is that friend that we all have that's in a relationship or married that gives you that uncontious patronising pat on the back and tells you "you're not alone out there" and "love will find you" and "be patient- your time will come." Um yea... because you know so well whats thats like - Haha. Sometimes couples misinterpret our complaining about the opposite sex as, being bitter or impatient waiting for the final outcome (or what we hope will be). Just like when they complain to us about their spouse or significant other it doesn't mean you hate them... Every now and then everyone should let their frustrations out so they don't explode. Well... As much as we don't like to hear that patronizing advice... It's true. Everyone's life is different and some people fall in love and get married at 21, and others at 36, and some not at all.
In my very practical way of thinking I've contimplated the chance that all 3 of those situations could be mine -
I am a creature of habit - So when a relationship ends for me I get in the habit of laying on the couch playing Love Is A Loosing Game by Amy Winehouse (RIP) on repeat and eating grilled cheese sandwiches out of the couch cushion. And my last break up was no different than this...
Sad but true... Sometimes all it takes is a gentle nudge from a friend to remind you that despite how you feel... the world will go on. Instead of sulking around the house for weeks, I decided to remind myself why I love this city. It wasn't hard. What was hard was listening to BAD advise about hooking up with someone else and multiple people trying to hook me up with their friend - People mean well... they do... But sometimes only you know whats best for you.
Sometimes its just taking that baby step towards the door before you give yourself that gentle nudge that life ain't so bad. My point being... Thank you friends who are in relationships/ married, but your advice may not be needed here (at least if sleeping around is the answer you've come up with).
I already know what I need...
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