The Love Journal: The Loose Sheets

"We've said the goodbye so many days... We walk in the same direction, so that we can never stray... They say if you love somebody, then you have to got set them free... But I'd rather be locked to you, then living this pain and misery." When we look back on past relationships we tend to think of all the good things... The laughter ... The First Kiss... The First Time You Made Love... The Vacations... Holidays... Anniversaries... The Love We Felt. Instead of focusing on the bad like how he never called... Constantly broke plans... Smoked Pot Everyday... Was arrested twice during your relationship... Watched porn all day... Worked at Burger King... And slept with your best friend (who was a guy). Occasionally when a relationship ends very badly we only think of the bad things, and how much blame and maybe even hatred we hold deep down for that person. I had a relationship like that once... Shane- Crushed my heart to dust, and it seemed immediately tried to ruin my entire life. And maybe because I never once did anything to him wrongfully, and I was nothing but sweet and supportive to him, that I totally felt what happened TO ME (not to him) was totally unjustified and cruel in unimaginable ways. No one has ever made me wish I didn't exist until this guy... And maybe that's why it took me soooooooooo long to forgive him and let go of it. But they say when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere. And when I finally let go of that I was able to move on with my life and start over. Why can't it be the same with normal breakups??? Why can't we just focus on the all the JACKED UP things that happened to remind us WHY!!! Well it's not really good to do that... That just seems to be bitterness in disquise. I think the healthiest thing to do is remember the good times as well as the bad to remind you of the respect you have for that person as well as remembering the valid reason you're no longer together. Although blowing up his picture and throwing darts at it can also be very therapeutic... Only kidding :) I'm finding more and more that even men save keepsakes for their ex's. Letters they wrote, pictures of happy times, e-mails, and in some extreme circumstances stuffed animals (kinda weird). I keep everything!!! I have a gigantic box full of keepsakes from exboyfriends and even people of lesser value- I even kept a letter from a guy I didn't even date, who wrote me while he was in jail- lol. I think we're better off getting rid of these things as sentimental as they are. Eventually we find ourselves rumiging through that box wishing we had made an individual scrapbook for that person and begin to long to reconnet with them, even though that relationship did bad things to each other while you were in it. It's like my friend Debbie says on her page... Looking down on a relationship through a microscope in retrospect is like saying... "From the air things look so ridiculous. Our fears so simple, our fights so vain. I wanna pilot a plane with you, so all our problems look small too. It's only an inch from me to you, depending on what map we use." Siting the possibility you do reconnect - It usually seems the same problems that drove the two of you apart in the frist place, remain to be there. And send you hurling in the opposite direction.

Comments

[Asher Hubbard]

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